Loving myself was a massive challenge I overcame. When I was growing up there was no representation of dark skinned black women in the media. Women who looked like me was not seen as beautiful and played roles that depicted black women as being angry, opinionated and strong. I was not able to buy make up and beauty products for my complexion in local beauty supply stores. This reinforced the feelings of unworthiness and different because I did not fit into homogeneous society.
It started the discourse that I should not voice my opinion, I should be nice despite my true feelings and I should take on the pressure no matter how close I was to the breaking point. Whilst navigating the shoulds I was bullied for being dark skinned by my counterparts. I was overlooked by boys I liked because they found lighter skinned girls prettier. Told by family members that I was too dark and suggested I should use skin lightening creams. I experienced colourism at a young age within my own community. In my quest to feel attractive I ended up in traumatic situations that stripped away any self-love I had.
Whilst dealing with challenging relationships I had a poor attachment to key family members. Family members that were suppose to help me learn to love my self and others. Understand how to form loving connections. I internalised their condescending comments and found solace in emotional eating. The more they criticised. The more I ate to feel better about myself. It reinforced I was not good enough.
Holding onto the belief system I turned down career opportunities because I felt I was not good enough to take on the responsibility. I kept changing jobs as soon I felt challenged and had to show up. I went from job to job and potential employers started to questioned why I changed jobs so often… Job rejections increased.
One day I came across Lisa Nichols, then Les brown and The secret. It was comforting to learn I was not alone in how I felt – unwanted, at rock bottom and anxious. I learned I had the power to change. I deserved more. I could be more. All I had to do was do the work to change my mindset in order to live the life I imagined…
Once I understood people brought their own experiences and learned behaviours into relationships. I realised not everything was about me. I needed to understand that.
My breakthrough !
I developed self-love and respect which led me to end relationships that no longer served me. I intentionally created a life I was happy to live. No more playing small, being apologetic for my needs.
Using what I learned in my personal transformation and professional life I help women operating in a space of lack to have the belief they are worthy. Use clarity and confidence to create opportunities for professional growth – promotions, career changes, implement business strategies. Personal expansion – starting healthy lifestyle to lose weight, look after their well-being and increase mental wellness.
I believe we all have the potential to live a full life. It is about making a choice. I can assist you in making that choice.
Have you already made your decision? click on the button to book a free 30 minutes clarity call.